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Project Safe Haven
Founder's Burden

Allow me to share the burden of my heart and the reason why I founded Project Safe Haven™.

I had been a regular church attender since my youth. In fact, you could count on your hands the number of times I missed a Sunday service. As an adult I quickly grew in stature within the church, becoming the Chairman of the Board of Trustees and marrying a church staff member. As a couple, we held cell groups in our home twice a month, attended weekly Bible studies, and attended virtually every church function. Outside of the church I also had a model life, holding a notable job as a trial attorney for the government, marrying the homecoming queen, and owning a house.

It seemed I had everything. But, internally I was incomplete and filled with guilt and shame. You see, I was leading a double-life. Although I loved God and my wife, I secretly fantasized and lusted after women, including habitual pornography and masturbation. My heart and eyes were so unfaithful. Yet, I was too afraid to confess my secret life to another, especially my wife or anyone at church. I believed I would be judged and even kicked out of the church or lose my wife. I shied away from vulnerable relationships (even with my wife) because I thought that if people really knew me, they would not like me. So, I kept polishing the outside of my cup, while refusing to allow anyone to see the inside.

It was not until I was 35 years old (and on the verge of actual adultery) that I could take the double-life no more. I risked telling the pastor of my dark secrets and inability to escape the bondage to sex. To my surprise, he wept and embraced me. I will never forget that moment. It gave me the courage to confess my unfaithful heart to my wife. Fortunately, both my wife and my pastor stuck beside me as I truly repented and sought change.

Although the road to purity was long and hard, I had the necessary support in place. Five years later, the same church that I had sinned against asked me to be an elder. What a testimony to the Lord how He not only changed my heart but created a safe haven within His church for sexually broken people. Now my heart burden is to reach out to other men too afraid or ashamed to step into the light. Similarly, my burden is to help churches become (and be seen as) a safe haven for the sexually broken. Scripture says it best:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

(2 Corinthians 1:3-4.) I want to be that comfort to others. >From a heart that once was ice cold, I am overflowing with love and devotion to the Lord and His people. From a man who did not pray for even 1 minute a day to one who prays hours a week. From a man who could not show emotion to a man who greets brothers with holy hugs. Yet, may my boasting be only of the Lord who has shown His great mercy and grace and provided His power to overcome!

It is my prayer that every church would be a safe haven for the many broken lives that fill the pews. To this end, I am asking the Lord to supply the means for Project Safe Haven to provide information to every willing church. I also pray that within each church a godly, gentle man would rise up and be willing to host small recovery groups. Yes, may the church foster a great transformation of heart and renewal of mind for the millions trapped in bondage to sexually addictive behaviors, and may these men who were once fallen become the backbone of revival as they are increasingly


Passionate for God;
Repentant in spirit;
Open and honest;
Victorious in living;
Eternal in focus; and
Networking with others.

Please join me in prayer and spirit to equipping the church to be a safe haven.