My first experience with pornography was when I was 12 on the back of the school bus. While I was sure that what I was watching was bad, I was also sure I wanted to continue. I was given a front row view to all the questions I had about the opposite sex and the action of sex. I was learning.
Shortly after my best friend passed away in a tragic car accident. For the first time in my 13 years of life, I was met with the spine chilling reality that I wasn’t promised another minute. Just like that my un-biological brother gone. Forever. Growing up with Christian parents, I knew I had a choice to make: Turn to Jesus, or leave my eternity uncertain. While I did devote my life to Christ I also devoted my emotional healing to my ever-growing secret love for pornography in private. And with that, I had jumped onto a rollercoaster of full-fledged double-mindedness as James would call it (James 1:8).
Throughout high school and college, I proclaimed the Gospel to unbelievers, started bible studies, taught through the scripture on Sunday nights, and lead worship. Great right? Maybe, but when out of the public eyes, my own would search the web for my fix. Not to mention Pornography started to influence and ruin actual relationships with women I cared about. Sure, I had my good weeks and bad. Of course, I had accountability to help me throughout it but I felt trapped. It didn’t matter what I did, I was always going to struggle with it. That is a lie from the pit of hell.
There is freedom in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And in a personal, intimate, honest relationship with Him you can find healing and be freed. You will have to remain on guard to retain sexual integrity but in Him you can end the struggle! It truly is finished. Jesus has defeated the grave.
My role at Proven Men is to spread that news! The reason I get out of bed is because Jesus is stronger, greater and faithful.
When he had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished,” and bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
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