Leadership

Leadership isn’t easy.

Leading is confusing and delicate, yet it needs to be decisive and firm. Rules that work in one setting don’t often work in another. People are unique, and in order to love people well, different approaches need to be taken in different circumstances.

The hardest aspect of leading a group, that we at Proven Men often observe, is the emotional aspect. Leaders compromise their peace when they lead from expectations, such as:

Feeling the pressure to make it all work
Judging people for not caring the way we think they should
The pride of thinking we’re leading because we’re better than the people around us
Being harsh with our attitude and quick to speak because we feel the urgency of the moment

Leadership is tense and littered with landmines. Leaders often get trapped in a loop of judgment and self-praise. And that loop tares them apart.

As you lead your groups you’ll come face to face with all of these delicate struggles.

As always we want to look at Jesus: How did Jesus lead and love those in sexual immorality? How did He deal with the pressure?

We’d like to walk through a story with you, one that you know, to paint a picture of leadership that is central to Proven Men. This story will help you in unbelievable ways as you practice Jesus’ example of leadership.

John 8

This is the story about Jesus and the sexually immoral woman. This woman was caught in adultery, was brought before the religious leaders of Israel, and thrown before Jesus. This story is thick with emotion and shows us as much about care and leadership as any story can.

It’s important to inhabit the story through the woman’s eyes.

The woman was caught in the act of sex — so it’s safe to say that she was thrust into this scene, completely unclothed. Her life has climaxed to utter embarrassment, as the most powerful men in the nation look upon her shame with disgust upon their faces. They see her for all that she is and their reaction to her shame and is to pick up stones because this woman is too vial to let live.

This woman has never been lower than where she is in that moment. Never. Shame, hate, terror, humiliation, and emptiness are the only things she knows.

But then there’s Jesus.

The moment is urgent; life hangs in the balance. There is absolute chaos, as everyone around him is screaming, screaming and spitting. But Jesus sits on the ground… The leaders take off their cloaks, committing themselves to the intensity of the activity that is about to take place. They take up rocks. But Jesus response by sitting on the ground and running His fingers through the sand.

His body language communicates apathy — does he even care? Why is he being so soft in a scene that is knotted with intensity?

For Jesus, the urgency of the moment is a reason to tread slowly, not swiftly. He isn’t apathetic, but delicate. The moment is significant, but that doesn’t demand harshness, rather Jesus knows that the moment is frail. He acts lightly because he knows it’s that important.

The longer He pauses, the more these leaders seem to despise this woman. She embodies everything they hate.

It’s as though Jesus paused in order to reveal their hate. As though he’s working in their hearts, unbeknownst to them.

We’re seeing two different reactions to the situation — one from the religious leaders and the other from Jesus: act fast and with force to the emotions, or let go, rest and wait.

Finally, Jesus speaks. Finally.

“Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Bending back down, He continues to run His fingers through the sand.

This woman knows that stones are about to strike down upon her naked body. These are the religious leaders of God’s nation; no other people on earth are purer than they.

She will die as less than a dog.

These men see in her the thing they hate the most, and they are stuck with their own sin. “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

It echoes in their heads, exposing their similarity to the filthy woman before them. They’ve only been hating themselves…

The stones don’t come. Yes, she hears them fall, but not against her fragile body. The men are dropping the rocks and leaving. The eldest leave first, then the younger go.

Everyone is gone.

Only she and the Messiah are left. The woman is standing, bare, with shock written on her face, looking upon this man who draws in the sand.

He stands.

“Does no one condemn you?”

“No one, Lord.”

Pause.

“Neither do I condemn you, go, and from now on sin no more.”

The story ends with a strong echo back to the Garden of Eden, as man was confronted with the shame of his sin and stood naked before God. God clothed man, protected him from death, gave him a hope, and set him on a new path. The adulterous woman has just encountered the same God.

This woman will never be the same because she was saved by the Messiah who cared enough to be still and draw in the sand.

A Different Kind of Leadership

Striking story, yea?

As we mentioned, there are two kinds of leadership presented in this story.

One is the leadership that wants to correct, rebuke, and challenge every wrong and offensive path.

The other is a leadership that offers a path to those who are desperate for life.

Did you notice how much Jesus sought rest as the scene around him became more and more disrupted? My impulse in similar situations is to either match the noise around me or give up.

But Jesus waited.

What Are You Looking For?

I’ve been in Bible studies. I’ve been to N.A. meetings, A.A. meetings, and S.A. meetings. More often than not, I see a leadership that is looking to accuse people — eyes that are looking for people to fail.

What’s worse is that often those eyes are my own. I am so quick to act in urgent moments, to judge against an offense, to feel the burden and anxiety of leadership.

But Jesus isn’t.

It’s impossible to love people well if you only see the worst in a person. The job of a leader is to see the possibility of redemption in someone who might not be able to see it in themselves — and to hold onto that hope, even when that person has stopped hoping.

Leading

We would like to encourage you, Group Leaders, to follow after Jesus’s way of leadership. You won’t always have the answers, and people will fail over and over again. But don’t give up, don’t lose hope, and don’t get cynical.

Leadership is less about what you do, and much more about how you do something. It is less about the technique, and more about the spirit you do it in. There’s a lot of freedom in that.

It’s cool to know that it doesn’t depend upon your skill, only upon your determination to trust in Jesus and care for the broken.

You’re going to be walking with men who are living in awful sexual immorality. You’re going to be in scenes that are high pressure and you won’t know what to do.

In such moments, let go of your right to control, of your power to change people’s hearts. Sit on the ground, entrust yourself to God, and play in the sand as you wait for Jesus to speak. Love people where they’re at, present a better way for them, walk with those who desire to walk toward Jesus, and endure those who don’t seem like they care.

We are beside you as you serve and love these hurting men. And what’s cooler is that Jesus is beside you as well, as you walk in his leadership.

Move slow. Celebrate people. Love well. And whenever in doubt, take some time to just draw in the sand.