By: Ben Springer
Accountability has become a dirty word in Christian culture. We tend to associate the term with rebuking those who are in sin until they repent. While rebuking sin does have its place, the goal of biblical accountability is not to make men feel bad about their sin. The goal is to help our brothers carry their burdens so that they can grow in their intimacy with the Lord. Often times this involves restoring them after a setback. The mark of a Proven Man is not the absence of sin, but what he does with a setback.
The E in the PROVEN acronym, Eternal in Perspective, reminds us that the Christian life is a journey, not a destination. The moment we respond to God’s call to salvation and surrender to Him as Lord and Savior of our lives, we enter this journey called sanctification in which we become more like Christ in holiness, righteousness and purity. The Lord stamps us “Proven” because we are choosing to walk by the Holy Spirit inside us rather than indulging our flesh with the temptation around us. Again, that does not mean that our journey will be free of setbacks.
Setbacks are not a deal breaker. They do not take away our “Proven” stamp. In fact, they can actually be an opportunity to grow because they remind us of our dependence on God and each other. Sadly, many men get lost in a setback and do not get back on the right path. These setbacks often lead men to a destructive cycle of guilt and shame. However, setbacks need not produce condemnation. That is the devil’s tactic to keep us silent about our sin and hide it from others. We end up deceiving others into believing we are not struggling, and then we deceive ourselves into thinking that we can overcome the setbacks by ourselves rather than drawing strength from our brothers in Christ who are fighting the same battle. This need not be! The Lord calls all of us to step in and help those who are caught in a sin by restoring them in a spirit of gentleness.
The apostle Paul had setbacks, too. Scripture does not explicitly tell us that his struggle was of a sexual nature, but certainly we can relate to the opposition that he described between the two laws inside him:
“So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin” (Rom. 7:21-25).
Can you feel the turmoil and frustration that Paul is expressing here? His intentions are pure, but he keeps stumbling along the way. With this struggle in mind, consider yourself as the person referred to as “anyone” in this passage of Galatians: “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal. 6:1-2).
If you are a Proven Man, you are on the journey toward sexual integrity. Don’t condemn yourself when you have a setback. No one is going to throw you out of the fellowship of believers. You may have faltered, but you are still in the race. Do not disqualify yourself. In response to a setback, the spiritual brothers have a biblical mandate to restore you to fellowship with God. What is meant by the designation “spiritual?” This is not a special class of Christians or those who have it all together, but those who are maturing in the fruit of the Spirit.
This is so vital for restoring a brother because it aligns us with God’s greatest two commandments—love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul, and love your neighbor as yourself. A spiritual man should be seeking to love his brother. A spiritual man is joyful for the chance to walk alongside him. A spiritual man is patient with him when he falls. Most of all, a spiritual man is constantly bringing him back to the peace of God when he feels weighed down by the temptations and struggles of the Christian life.
Rather than let our brothers fall prey to the law of sin and death that wages war inside them against their desire for purity, spiritual brothers can extend the compassion of Christ in a very tangible way. In so doing, Proven Men stay anchored in the great and rich truth that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:1). Brothers, if you have had a setback, take heart. Continue to network with other Proven Men who are there to restore you in a spirit of gentleness so that you can keep running the race you are determined to win. Let go of the law of sin that condemns and take hold of the law of Christ that restores.