By: Allie Joy Hudson
5 min. read
Lamar Odom’s Radical CHANGE
Lamar Odom is a former NBA player, Olympic athlete, reality TV star, and husband of a Kardashian. He’s also a former drug and porn addict with a radical past. Back in 2015, he had a near-death experience due to a drug overdose in a Las Vegas brothel. Odom claims to have had sex with more than 2,000 women. And he writes in his memoir Darkness to Light, that he was so engrossed in porn that he, “ran out of porn to watch.”
It’s easy to look at someone and define them based on their past, Lamar Odom included. But there’s so much hope in seeing Jesus’ transformative power at work in someone and looking at the person they’re becoming.
Lamar Odom is one powerful example of the radical change that can occur in people’s lives. Odom credits accountability and the positive influence of his fiancée, Sabrina Parr, for his life change. What’s happened to him since last summer is incredible! Though change is good and can be cleansing, it’s a process. Let’s see what we can learn from this process in Lamar Odom’s life.
The Pain Behind the Porn ADDICT
Odom was first exposed to porn as an early teen and continued in his addiction for almost thirty years. Over the course of those decades and despite all of the women that he had been with, he was never confronted about his porn habit until his current fiancée, Sabrina Parr, told him how his addiction affected her.
Sabrina was honest with Odom about the way his choices made her feel. She says, “He was reaching for his phone more than reaching for me. I had a problem with that. I want to be 100% desired especially if I’m lying right next to him.”
Parr asked Odom questions about his addiction that he had to grapple with for the first time, and she began to realize why Odom turned to porn. It had deep roots in his heart. He used it to try to self-medicate a great deal of pain in his life. His mother died when he was only twelve and his father was a drug addict. His infant son passed away. The drugs and the porn were an attempt to numb all of his grief.
When Parr and Odom dug deeper into the why behind his addiction, it was uncomfortable at first. Odom dealt with a lot of shame. But digging deep helped the couple to better understand what they were dealing with, and it made them realize, like so many of us, that they needed help.
Covenant EYES and Accountability
Early in the stages of trying to help Odom, Sabrina Parr put a lot of pressure on herself. If she left the house, she would take Odom’s phone with her to try to cut him off and keep him from watching porn. But this method was more exhausting than it was helpful. “I needed another resource, something else that can help us monitor this and keep him accountable,” Parr said.
Enter, Covenant Eyes. This is an accountability-based software. It blocks porn sites, and it sends a (blurred) screenshot of any questionable content you view online to accountability partners that you choose. It’s a fantastic resource that has helped thousands of people find freedom from lust and addiction. My husband and I have Covenant Eyes on our devices, and it’s been great for us.
For Lamar Odom, it was “really tough” on him when he first installed Covenant Eyes. He felt the weight and the pull of thirty years’ worth of porn and sex addiction. But this software helped him to break free from the unhealthy patterns of lust and emotional numbing that he had lived in for so long. Now, Odom credits Covenant Eyes for helping him to recover from his addiction.
Accountability is huge in helping us to overcome addiction. When our sin is exposed to the light, it dies much more quickly than it would festering undisturbed in the dark. Accountability teaches us to be responsible to God, to others, and to ourselves, and it allows trust to reenter and grow in a relationship.
[A quick side note: Though Parr serves as Odom’s accountability partner through Covenant Eyes and this works for them, I believe that your spouse should not be your accountability partner. While it is good for you to be open and honest with your wife about how you are doing, you should primarily be processing through temptation and sin with a trusted friend, family member, or mentor of the same sex. This protects your spouse from a much greater emotional and mental burden, and it allows you to have a space to process in a more raw, unfiltered way.]
Redemption and DIGNITY
Through getting to the root of Odom’s addiction, the consistent presence of a positive influence, and the accountability offered to him through Covenant Eyes Lamar Odom has been able to end his decades-long dependence on pornography. While this is such good news, I do not want to miss the news most worth celebrating: Last October, Odom gave his life to Jesus! God is doing awesome transformative work in Odom, and it makes me hopeful to think of the great potential in him as he continues forward.
Referring to his near-death experience in 2015, Odom says, “God brought me back for me to tell my testimony and help as many people I can. Just by sharing my story and telling them that they can overcome anything if they put God first and family first. I’m living proof of that. I’m trying to live my best life. If that means giving up porn to do it, then I’m all for it.”
Yes! Jesus gives us dignity, grace, and purpose anew. Jesus uses everything in our lives. He doesn’t waste our pain or our experiences. There is so much power in Lamar Odom’s story, especially because of the way that it points to the radical transformative power of Jesus. Let’s dignify his voice, listen to his story, and be reminded of the amazing Lord that we serve.
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Allie Joy Hudson is first and foremost a daughter of the King. She has worked with Proven Men for two years and serves as the Content Manager. Allie graduated from Liberty University with a B.A. in English and minors in Spanish and Psychology. She completed her Senior Honors Thesis on the presentation of postmodern sexuality in short fiction. She enjoys reading, writing, playing the viola, running, singing, and photography. Allie is passionate about her ever-growing C.S. Lewis collection, cultivating relationships, and proclaiming truth in the twisted arena of postmodern sexuality. Allie lives in Pennsylvania and is overjoyed to be married to the love of her life.