By: Allie Joy Hudson
3 min. read
The “What’s” of Sex
How do you usually hear sex being discussed, especially from a Christian perspective?
I’ve noticed that oftentimes in the Church, when sex does get mentioned, it’s mentioned from the angle of context. We hear about what context – marriage – is right for sex, and what contexts are wrong for it. We learn about the “when’s” and “where’s” of sex, but we don’t hear a whole lot about the “what’s,” like…
What is sex?
What is its role in marriage?
And what does this have to do with our relationship with Jesus?
These “what’s” are so valuable in helping us to better understand God’s beautiful design for marital sex and in inspiring us to praise Him all the more for it. As we wrap up our series on sexual integrity in marriage, let’s take a look at some of these questions together.
Sex is a good thing worth celebrating. It’s a gift that God gave us as His creation with great purpose. Sex allows us to bring about new life and to unite and reunite with our spouse. It also helps us in that it gives us something so much better to come back to when temptation assails us.
God is our intentional Creator, and we see His great intentionality in His gift of sex to married couples. I love the way Bronwyn Lea pictures how the Church should be responding to the concept of sex – not as something dirty, but as something to be cherished. Lea writes, “When asked, ‘What does the Bible say about sex?’ it would be wonderful to have a generation of believers who answer not with the knee-jerk response, ‘Don’t do it!’ but enthusiastically reply, ‘God made it, and it’s good!’”
If we know the place and purpose of sex, we can see it as an intentional gift worth praising God about. But we also need to remember this: Sex is a good gift in marriage, but it is not the ultimate thing to strive for or the main foundation of a marriage relationship.
God made sex to be an act of worship. When we are followers of Jesus, the way we live our entire lives should be worship to the Lord. As I mentioned above, sex is a gift that God gave His creation.
As humans, we can relate to this idea of giving a gift. When we give someone a gift and later find out that they love it or use it often, it makes us feel great. So, too, when we make love with our spouse and put in the effort to pursue our spouse sexually and romantically, this is a worshipful use of God’s good, unifying gift. This makes Him happy.
The way that we love and are united with our fellow believers reflects God’s love to the world. Our unity with one another is so important that Jesus prayed for our unity as believers hours before His death. Making love is a very physical picture of the unity between a husband and wife, and it fosters unity in marriage.
Here are a few things to consider as you think of sex as an act of worship: As you prepare to make love to your spouse, pray. Thank God for His gift. Invite Him into the time that He may be honored. Choose to view sex as worshipful.
Related: Discipline, Sex, and Your Marriage
Sex is the ultimate form of human intimacy. In it, “the two become one flesh” physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Making love with your spouse involves a unique kind of vulnerability.
Sex is a beautiful thing, and its beauty is amplified because it’s a reflection of a relationship even more beautiful, the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the Church, you and me. This is the ultimate relationship that sex reflects.
Consider the intimacy, vulnerability, dependence, trust, closeness, passion, gentleness, love, and commitment present in lovemaking. And then consider these qualities that are infinite realties of the way that Jesus loves us. Take time to consider each one of these words. What an incredible design!
God intentionally, purposefully crafted sex and gave it as a gift to His creation. Let’s choose to see and to celebrate it as something worth cherishing and fighting for.
And while sex is something good, we can’t mistake it as the ultimate thing and use (or abuse) it and make it our foundation. If we miss out on the elements of sex that honor and reflect Jesus and His love for us, we’ve missed the point of it. Sex is sacred because it points to ultimate sacredness.
As you continue to learn about, fight for, and pursue sexual integrity in your marriage, remember the purpose, place, and design of sex. God has done an extraordinary work here!
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Allie Joy Hudson is first and foremost a daughter of the King. She has worked with Proven for two and a half years and serves as the Content Manager. Allie graduated from Liberty University with a B.A. in English and minors in Spanish and Psychology. She completed her Senior Honors Thesis on the presentation of postmodern sexuality in short fiction. She enjoys reading, writing, playing the viola, running, singing, and photography. Allie is passionate about her ever-growing C.S. Lewis collection, cultivating relationships, and proclaiming truth in the twisted arena of postmodern sexuality. Allie lives in Pennsylvania and is overjoyed to be married to the love of her life.