By: Allie Joy Hudson
3 min. read
Hugh Grant is a British actor known for his romantic comedies as well as his charming and sarcastic personality. And Grant just turned sixty yesterday actually. So happy belated birthday, Hugh! He’s now the father of five, and he only began the fatherhood journey about ten years ago.
This critically acclaimed British gent captivates people with his performances onscreen and with his humor and wit in real life. His openness also strikes me. I saw a clip of Hugh Grant being interviewed on a TV segment from five years ago, and the answers he gave offer some unique insight on relationships, intimacy, and victory over pornography. Let’s check it out.
A Friendship Beyond Sex
In the video, the interviewer asks Grant about why his long-term relationship with actress Elizabeth Hurley didn’t work out. Grant answers, “You see the funny thing is it did. She’s still my best friend. I mean, the sex bit probably fizzled out, but now she’s my absolute best friend, [the] number one person I call when I’m in a crisis.”
This answer surprised me. It made me think about the way that Hugh Grant defined intimacy, as well as how I define intimacy. To be in a relationship with a person for so long in some way ties your souls together. And it interests me that though the sexual element of Grant and Hurley’s relationship faded, their close friendship grew stronger. Even beyond the time of their dating relationship, Grant and Hurley still rely on one another on an emotional level.
I believe that intimacy definitely does include the sexual element in a marriage, but it really means knowing one another on a soul-level. This looks like relying on, trusting in, and sharing with one another. Within marriage, sex is a powerful means to increase that soul-knowing, but it’s only one part of it. I think Hugh Grant points to a need for a deep intimacy in his answer here.
No More Porn
In addition to asking Grant about his previous relationship, the interviewer also asks him another personal question: “When was the last time you watched porn?”
Grant’s face lights up as he answers that he stopped watching porn cold turkey three years prior. He shares, “I now have three children. I think there is a correlation.”
I love the way that Hugh Grant gets so excited to share his victory and to share about how it has changed his life for the better. It encourages me that he sees his decision as such a positive thing. Eliminating porn from his life allowed him more time and more heart-space to invest in real relationships, in his children, and in his marriage.
This is such a beautiful thing, and I want us to celebrate alongside of Grant. But also, don’t be discouraged if your journey of ridding porn from your life doesn’t look the same as Hugh Grant’s. This process looks different in everyone. Even if you were to quit watching porn cold turkey, that doesn’t mean that the temptation just vanishes. Jesus gives us great power over sin, but His work in us is a lifelong process.
Related: Trapped in Sexual Sin
Intimacy, Victory, and Jesus
I love the way that these two short, simple answers from Hugh Grant on an obscure little video point us to these important things:
- Intimacy is a soul-knowing, a deep reliance on and trust in another. It includes sex, but it doesn’t stop there.
- Victory over porn is something to be proud of and to celebrate.
- Eliminating porn from our lives gives us so much more capacity to practice true intimacy.
These are simple truths but truths that are good to remind ourselves of nonetheless. True intimacy with others is a remarkable thing, something that is a gift from Jesus Himself. Look to Jesus now. As you grow to know Him more, this will flow over from you and into your relationships with others. He is good.
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Allie Joy Hudson is first and foremost a daughter of the King. She has worked with Proven Men for two years and serves as the Content Manager. Allie graduated from Liberty University with a B.A. in English and minors in Spanish and Psychology. She completed her Senior Honors Thesis on the presentation of postmodern sexuality in short fiction. She enjoys reading, writing, playing the viola, running, singing, and photography. Allie is passionate about her ever-growing C.S. Lewis collection, cultivating relationships, and proclaiming truth in the twisted arena of postmodern sexuality. Allie lives in Pennsylvania and is overjoyed to be married to the love of her life.