By: Allie Joy Hudson
3 min. read
How often do you take the time to intentionally encourage your spouse? This seems like such a small thing, that’s easy to overlook, but it can make a big difference. My husband, Michael, and I are both words of affirmation people. Words carry weight for both of us. I have every note or letter Michael has ever written me over the years, and he has all of my letters to him. The words we choose to share can be such a powerful gift and tool.
Let’s learn to lean into this resource more. Our words have the power to call out truth and to call out the goodness of God that is present in our spouses. What an opportunity!
We all have this chance to encourage one another, and especially to encourage our spouse, the person we see at their best and their worst. This is important.
Here are a few thoughts on encouragement:
- The way we use our words is crucial. There are multiple Scriptures that talk about the power of our speech to either build up to tear down.
- If you feel led to say something, say it. The Holy Spirit will guide and direct us if we ask and listen. Don’t be afraid to say something vulnerable or to speak from your heart. You never know what words will be the haven your spouse needs in a particular moment.
- No person is perfect. We all fall short. While there are things we are all working on and need to work on, we can still call out things that are good. Choose to be honest and genuine with the words you do choose. Highlight each other’s strengths. Small, specific affirmations can go a long way.
- We have the ability to call things out in people that they might not see in themselves. You can hold up a metaphorical mirror to your spouse in a powerful way. Call out beautiful traits the Lord has put in them that reflect Him. Call them up towards greater growth, becoming more like Jesus, in this.
- One of the best ways, if not the best way, we can encourage each other is to point each other to Jesus and His truths about who He is, what He has done, and about who He says we are.
Encouragement and Scripture
As you think through some of these concepts, know, too, that encouragement is a really important thought for biblical writers, and therefore for God! Verses about it pop up especially throughout the New Testament.
In 1 Thessalonians 5, Paul exhorts the hearers of his letter. He writes, “But since we are of the day, let’s be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. For God has not destined us for wrath, but for obtaining salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ, who died for us, so that whether we are awake or asleep, we will live together with Him. Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing.”
Similarly, the author of Hebrews writes in chapter three, “But encourage one another every day, as long as it is still called ‘today,’ so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.”
Related: Why Does Marriage Matter?
It might be easy to gloss over words like this. But I challenge you not to. What would it look like for you to intentionally share just one genuine compliment, one word of admiration, a day with the person you have entered into a covenant partnership with? Even this small action can make a difference in the atmosphere of your home and the health and overall influence of your marriage.
Be sacrificial, true, and giving with your words. Choose to follow the Holy Spirit’s leading and Jesus’ example of humble, others-serving love. He knows and sees you, and He loves you. Let’s honor Him, and one another, with our words today.
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Allie Joy Hudson is first and foremost a daughter of the King. She has worked with Proven for three years and serves as the Content Manager. Allie graduated from Liberty University with a B.A. in English and minors in Spanish and Psychology. She completed her Senior Honors Thesis on the presentation of postmodern sexuality in short fiction. She enjoys reading, writing, playing the viola, running, singing, and photography. Allie is passionate about her ever-growing C.S. Lewis collection, cultivating relationships, and proclaiming truth in the twisted arena of postmodern sexuality. Allie lives in Pennsylvania and is overjoyed to be married to the love of her life.