I have walked a path of pornography and lust for 40 years. Coincidentally, I have also been a believer for almost that exact same number of years. For my entire life I have struggled with trying to maintain a consistent devotional life. I have never been able to go more than 3-4 days without giving up and then just getting by and faking it with my Bible College knowledge. Even as a pastor, I did not study and prepare as I should have. In my mind, my inability to study and pray was a separate issue from my Porn and lust addiction. I would try to conquer my porn problem on my own, trying techniques, accountability partners, filters, etc., but always fail. I would try to read my Bible and pray, but would give in to porn and quit reading my Bible because I felt like a hypocrite.
It never once occurred to me that the two were inseparably linked. Since starting this study, I have gotten up every morning at 5:00 am (except weekends), to read, study and pray specifically for my addiction and give it to God. I have never focused so completely on my relationship with God and His love for me.
The result has been amazing. (Surprise!) The overwhelming desire to look at porn and masturbate has greatly diminished. I find myself looking forward to getting up to see what the reading and Scripture will be for that day. The crippling feeling of guilt, shame, and hypocrisy has lifted and I know God wants me to experience His love and Freedom. I can’t imagine this going on for another 9 weeks!
I count it an honor to be able to lead a group of men through this study while I am experiencing it as well. I am excited about what the Lord has in store for us all.
This story, the Gospel story of resurrection from despair and brokenness, can be your story.
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