By: Allie Joy Hudson
Is Sex a Need?
Over the past week or so, I’ve been thinking over the question, “Do married Christians need sex”? Why would we need to seek satisfaction if we serve and are genuinely focused on God? But on the other hand, God created sex specifically for the marriage context.
I thought this over and asked other married Christians, including my husband Michael, for their thoughts too. Michael answered the question with a yes, but he was diligent about explaining why. Something he said really struck me, and I wanted to unpack it some today. He said that married Christians needing sex reminded him of the Bible verses that talk about us daily clothing ourselves with Christ.
Related: Why Sex in Marriage Matters
Various times throughout the New Testament, Paul charges his readers to be diligent in “putting on” Christ and His attributes. Romans 13:14 says to “clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.” Colossians 3 also talks about how we must choose to put on many things including “the new self” (v. 10), “compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience” (v. 12), and, in verse fourteen, “over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
This spiritual clothing is an intentional and daily choice to focus on, yield to, and imitate Jesus.
Although God declares us to be righteous from the moment of salvation, we spend the rest of our time on Earth being conformed more and more to the image and likeness of Jesus. God works in us every day to sanctify us, setting us apart for His use and glory. Though this work in us is from God, we too must participate and choose to allow God to shape us.
To put on Christ is to be aware of and connected to His presence as He lives within us. Our active relationship with Jesus is intimate. Christ purposefully calls the Church His Bride.
What Does it Mean to be One Flesh?
In a similar way, when a man and woman marry and consummate their marriage, they become, for the first time, “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). For the rest of their lives, they are united under the marriage covenant. They share themselves with each other for they belong to each other (1 Corinthians 7).
However, just because a man and his wife become one flesh on their wedding night, this does not at all guarantee that they will always be on the same page. Just like Christians will not always obey, act like, or be aligned with Jesus, though they are eternally united to Him, so husband and wife will not always be in harmony with one another.
As we daily choose to put on the attributes of Jesus, so we must also choose to serve, love, and be united with our spouse. Sex is one part of this unification and reunification process.
As we give of ourselves spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically to the person we love most, this honors the Lord.
So, while sex is not to be the first priority or foundation of a marriage, married people do need it to continually demonstrate their love for and commitment to their spouse. God designed sex for marriage. When a marriage lacks intimacy in any capacity, something is wrong.
How can you apply this illustration to your own life? What does it look like for you to daily clothe yourself with Christ and His attributes? How can you be more intentional about loving and being intimate with your spouse?
Following Christ is a journey of obedience, vulnerability, and surrender. May we be aware of and rejoice in His indwelling presence so that our walk with Christ and our love for others will proclaim the Lord with clarity and joy.
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Allie Joy Hudson is first and foremost a daughter of the King. She graduated from Liberty University with a Bachelor of Arts in English and minors in Spanish and Psychology. Allie completed her Senior Honors Thesis on the presentation of postmodern sexuality in short fiction and has also been published in two of Liberty University’s other online journals, The Kabod and Aidenn. She enjoys reading, writing, playing the viola, singing, musical theatre, photography, and Zumba. She is passionate about her ever-growing C.S. Lewis collection, cultivating relationships, and proclaiming truth in the twisted arena of postmodern sexuality. Allie was raised in Maryland and is overjoyed to be married to the love of her life.