By: Shane James O’Neill Proven Men has created a purity quiz to show you where you are on a scale of sexual purity. We run churches and schools through this assessment and it can be used in small groups, among friends and family, and in other areas of discipleship. We want to give it to…
Mind Hacks for Porn Addicts
By: Alexander Jackson DECADES OF ADDICTION Did you try to kick any habits before your wedding? Maybe you’re not married yet but that’s your plan. How fast can you drop a porn addiction? Reddit users don’t find it very easy. The Reddit subcategory for porn addiction is heartbreaking to read. (If you check it…
Christian Violence
By: Victor Stanely Jr. and Marcia Smith The Violent Christian Pacifist “Murder is a tough thing to digest, it’s a slow process, and I ain’t got nothin’ but time…” These words are uttered by Jay-Z on the song Dead President II. The words capture the thinking of a certain type of person whom I like…
How Shame and Boredom Feed Lust
By: Lexie LaVallee Barren Passions Most porn users struggle with deep-seated shame. Porn rewires your brain and your emotions and it severely messes with your creativity. When you’re giving so much of your passion to artificial sex then you don’t have nearly as much to give to other people or other passions. And that…
Porn Is Not Victimless
By: Lexie LaVallee rape, Porn, and Trafficking If you haven’t read my story, it would help for you to know that I was trafficked as a child. Do you know how buyers found me? Porn. The advertisement for the sale of my body was through a video of me being raped. That was during…
A Missionary’s Journey Through Pornography
By: Hugh Houston Playboy I felt trapped and I couldn’t take it anymore and I was scared to death. I knew that if I didn’t do something quickly, my secret sin was going to get much, much worse. I was 50 years old, and I felt like I had been fighting lust and pornography my whole…
The Reason Why Porn Is Everywhere
By: Dane Skelton Stories from a Pastor The man shaking my hand after church said, “My porn addiction cost me my job and I had to move. My wife considered leaving but held on, and now we are attempting to rebuild but she has a hard time trusting me. Another big downer is that…
7 Ways to Restore Postmodern Sexuality
By: Allie Joy Kapus HEart breaking Research I spent many hours during my junior and senior years of college researching postmodern sexuality. I pored over statistics, rates, and facts. I saw that divorce, hooking up, and pornography have come to define the way that many Americans view and approach sex. It became real to…
Why Does Marriage Matter?
By: Allie Joy Kapus Getting Marriage Right If I’m being completely honest, I put off writing this part of the series. I knew that I would be writing about God’s definition for the marriage covenant, and since I write and talk about that so often, I figured I could just write the post pretty…
Broken Families and Broken Sexuality
By: Allie Joy Kapus Faithfulness and Suicide I read a short story two years ago that left a huge imprint on me. It’s called “To Room Nineteen” by Doris Lessing. The story focuses on Susan, a woman who was cheated on after a decade of faithful marriage. But when her husband tells her about…
Sex on My Terms: What is Postmodern Sexuality?
By: Allie Joy Kapus Sex, By Myself What makes me feel good? What turns me on? What numbs my mind and helps me forget stress and life and other people for a while? It’s like tunnel vision. These questions form the bedrock of the way that our society has come to view sex, relationships,…
The Best Equipment for the Worst Predicament
By C. T. Giles “…take the helmet of salvation…” Who doesn’t want their own signature helmet? I wouldn’t bother with setting mine out in some formal looking display. No. Mine would have a place alongside the jackets and shoes, right by the door, ready to grab and go. God bless… how badly I wish…
How Faith Shields From Pornography and Infidelity
By: Shane James O’Neill Lying to Myself I’ve had patches of abusing pornography throughout my Christian life. I’m always shocked to see how quickly the habit grabs a hold of me and how much it impacts my life. When I am watching pornography my life output significantly dwindles: my heart cares less for people,…
From Vandalizing to Evangelizing
By: Victor Stanely Jr. Out on Bail Seven years ago in June 2011, I was sitting in Northern Virginia awaiting a court hearing where I was facing two counts of assault and battery. The DEA had taken down a crime ring I was part of in a state down south and the drug task…
Warring Against the Shame of Lust
By: Shane James O’Neill Spiritual Hangover Have you ever experienced the spiritual hangover that comes from acting out lustfully or watching pornography? It’s a kind of grief that sits in the soul and pushes up into our emotions, thoughts, and relationships. Being “in a funk” doesn’t do the experience full justice, but I’ve used…
Why What You do While You’re Naked Matters
By: Shane James O’Neill (This is a continuation of our Ephesians 6 series in anticipation of the Proven Men This is War Conference on June 9th.) New Atheism Sam Harris is probably my favorite public atheist (are Christians allowed to have a favorite public atheist?!). While criticizing what God cares about, Harris once said:…
The Warfare of the Redeemed
By: Shane James O’Neill All of Life is a Warzone There are always things we are in conflict with, there is always real adversity in our days. There are goals we’re fighting for and emotions we’re fighting against. Starting the day can be its own battle, along with the real anxiety we have as…
Uber and Strippers
By: Shane James O’Neill A Rough Night As a college student, I would sometimes drive Uber — I was able to work my own hours and work on my own time. There were plenty of cool experiences, as well. I’d get to talk politics, learn new music, learn different cities, meet people from all…
The Most Popular Pornography of 2017
By: Shane James O’Neill *READER DISCRETION ADVISED Pornhub In January, Pornhub, the largest pornographic website in the world, released their analytics from the 2017 year. The stats are harrowing. But as one victim of the serial abuser Larry Nassar said: We can tend to gloss over the devastation of any kind of suffering but…
Spiritual Warfare and Sexual Purity
By: Shane James O’Neill Do you know that on a global scale Jesus is currently waging war against sexual impurity? Or to use Biblical language, God is actively working to put His enemies under Jesus’ feet. But let me back up. Does Spiritual Warfare Exist? I’ve “struggled” with sexual purity since before my body…
I’m a Christian and I was addicted to Pornography
Addicted to Pornography John Herrald “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness…” — Jesus, Sermon on the Mount The eyes are a window into the soul….
Assess Your Sexual Purity
By: Shane James O’Neill Proven Men has created a purity quiz to show you where you are on a scale of sexual purity. We run churches and schools through this assessment, but we want to give it to you for free. So here you go! Before The Assessment, a quick disclaimer Purity works on…
How Porn Damages The Brain
By: Lexie LaVallee It might sound extreme to hear that porn has a severe effect on your brain. I mean, how can something you look at have such a strong effect? We watch tv, movies, and play video games and you don’t hear many people talking about addiction and damage from those things, so…
The Links Between Porn and Sex Trafficking
By: Shane James O’Neill A significant part of combating pornography is through awareness. People generally think porn isn’t an issue and that it doesn’t do any harm. But if people were seriously suffering from our actions, wouldn’t you want to know? My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge; because you have rejected knowledge, I reject you from…
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